how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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