hell yes lets make some ravioli
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
