Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
