I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
