Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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