I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
