So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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