my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
