I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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