i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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