she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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