just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
