even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So much rum. So many feels.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
