Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
