So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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