I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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