its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
