1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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