you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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