walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
