I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
