We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
God I need to hump something, right now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
