Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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