I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
