butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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