I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
