I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
