I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
