The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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