he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
