if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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