U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
