Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Randomize
