Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
