WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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