Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
