i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
