You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
