Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you told grandpa to call you daddy
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
