So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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