He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
