im about as happy as oj after his trial
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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