How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
