Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
