You work out of a Hotel?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
