even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
