i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
