I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
