Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
