if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize