I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
