Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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