I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
