And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
