You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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