Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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