Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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